Baptize first, ask questions later

They just can't help themselves; they care too much. My favorite line, but by no means the only good one, is this:

"The Mormon church contends that the baptism offer can be rejected by the intended recipient in the afterlife."

But wait, there's more: The LDS will give you a 10% larger planet as your celestial reward, should you in any way be unsatisfied with your undesired, postmortem souljacking. GUARANTEED!
Convert now, proxies are waiting, salvation not guaranteed, disallowed by law in all sane nations and states.