Shit He Says His Dad Says

As I study for yet another test of my withering brain's ability to quickly soak up and retain lawz for a whole four hours, a colleague (i.e. someone doing an even worse job of staying on task than me) sent some of us a link, to lighten things up a lil. And it worked. On me.

To me, this stuff is rill, rill funny. Here's an amuse bouche amuse:

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

"HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first."