Will Trade Sex for Obama

From the Beachwood Reporter, which evidently came from Division Street:

October 31, 2008 ·

The best of Craigslist ads seeking tickets to the Obama rally in Grant Park on Tuesday, as determined by Division Street Labs.

1. I can be your date to the Obama rally - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-898645459@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-29, 6:38PM CDT
I would love to go to the Obama rally!! Have an extra ticket or just need someone to go with you? I would love to go! let me know….maybe it could turn into more than one night with me you and Obama. haha. who knows right??

2. Victoria Secret Gift Card for Obama guest ticket - $75 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-899916928@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 6:02PM CDT
If anyone wants a victoria secret gift card for their Guest Ticket, PLEASE CONTACT ME!!!!
Thanks!

3. Smart, Beautiful, Funny Girl Needs Obama Ticket - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-900169948@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 10:20PM CDT
Looking for a fellow Obama supporter who has a ticket to the rally Tuesday. I want to go, hang out, have a drink and have fun.
This pic is current.

4. OBAMA RALLY TICKETS FOR SALE!!!!! $10 Trillion Dollars! - $10 (Uptown)
Reply to: sale-899881700@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 5:32PM CDT
Hi, I can’t go to the rally so I am selling my ticket for 10 trillion dollars. Meet me at the Wilson Red Line. The money will be given to cover the United States public debt bill. Thank you.

5. Blackhawk Ticket for Obama Grat Park Rally Guest Pass - $1 (Chicago, IL)
Reply to: sale-900056525@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 8:16PM CDT
Will exchange 1 Blackhawk Ticket, 12 rows off ice, for 1 guest pass to Obama Rally. If you have two guest passes, I will give you a pair of Blackhawks tickets.

6. Looking For Frumpy, Nerdy Girl to go to Obama - $1 (Chicagoland)
Reply to: sale-899926298@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 6:11PM CDT
I’m looking for a frumpy and/or nerdy girl to go as my +1 to the Obama event. Short girls preferred. Must not be evil. Do you fit these requirements?
I am average, at best.

7. Looking for a SUPER HOT CHICK to take to Obama event with me - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-899798993@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 4:22PM CDT
Looking for a super hot chick to be my date to the Obama event. I have no problem pulling hot girls in general so since I have Obama tickets you have to be not just hot but like super model hot, or if you look like Eva Longoria. Wanna be my date to Obama?

8. Obama Rally Ticket Trade — Whatever Your Heart Desires from CA - $1 (Los Angeles, CA)
Reply to: sale-899567662@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 1:36PM CDT
I’m flying in Sunday from LA for the election and would absolutely love to be someone’s +1 at the rally. I think it’s shameful and very un-Obama like to sell your ticket to the highest bidder, and it’s even more lame to try to hold a girl hostage for a ticket so you can get a date. So how about this for a trade: if there’s something from LA/CA that you have a craving for or can’t get out in Chicago, I’ll personally transport it all 2000 miles to you. Sprinkles cupcakes? See’s candy? Local beer? A cold and probably soggy Double-Double from In-N-Out? If it’s a reasonable (and hopefully legal) request, name it and its yours.

9. Trade Massage or Apple Computer Help for 2 Obama Tickets (rogers park)
Reply to: sale-897911042@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-29, 9:32AM CDT
My partner and I are willing to trade a professional massage and/or apple computer HELP for 2 tickets to the Obama Rally on the 4th in Grant Park.
She is a licensed Massage Therapist, and I am a Mac specialist [ . . . ] She makes house visits all around the city, and works at a salon [ . . . ] we both have references.

10. WANTED: Take me to Obama rally! - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-898392257@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-29, 3:33PM CDT
I would LOVE to go to the rally. Take me as your guest!
Let’s barter! What can you get in exchange? Some ideas of things I could do. After all, money’s boring, right?? (oh and I’m an intern, and have been volunteering for Barack so I don’t have much money haha)
-write you a poem
-take you to a rock concert
-a penny I found from 1908
-mention you on the radio/newspaper as one of the coolest people ever
-a feeling like you’ve done a great deed for many years to come
-me (classically trained singer) singing for you or your event for free
-a free piano lesson
-the secret on where to get a pound of deli turkey for only $2.99
-A personal weight training and diet consultation (with a certified scientician*)

Let me know!

*certified by me and I have the fake document I could whip up in PS paint to prove it!

11. If you’re a hot chick & have 1 extra Obama ticket. how bout a dinner? - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-897977114@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-29, 10:54AM CDT
I am willing to take out a pretty & intellectual chick to dinner in exchange for going and usnig your extra Obama ticket.
How about that? sounds like a win/win/win to me.
-Obama in ‘08
oh, i’m easy on the eyes too, you will like. I just know it!

12. I will custom hand paint your furniture for 2 Obama Tickets - $1 (Riverside, IL)
Reply to: sale-900198758@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 10:59PM CDT
I will paint your furniture for free in exchange for 2 Obama Tickets for my husband and myself! Value up to $500.

13. Will provide math tutoring for Obama guest ticket - $1
Reply to: sale-900220210@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 11:32PM CDT
I am offering my services as a math tutor for two 1-hour sessions in exchange for being your guest at the Obama election night celebration in Grant Park. Sessions can be in-person or on the phone. In-person sessions must be arranged at a mutually agreed-upon location.
I am willing to tutor any level of math from elementary, algebra, geometry, trig, statistics, probability, combinatorics, calculus, real analysis and even financial accounting.

*
Bonus CraigsList . . .
1. Parking for Obama Rally - $250 (Downtown)
Reply to: sale-899298487@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-30, 10:42AM CDT
Indoor, heated, private parking space available for the Obama Rally on November 4th, 2008. Located at Randolph and Michigan, across the street from Millennium Park. Offer good for entire day.

2. OBAMA RALLY- SMASHING PUMPKINS OFFER A HOAX - $1 (Chicago)
Reply to: sale-898559679@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-10-29, 5:29PM CDT
Sorry people, nobody can offer meeting the band in exchange for Obama rally tickets. Someone just made it up. NPR should really check their sources.

*
Finally, a blast from the past. Seems tickets for Obama’s convention speech in Denver were even harder to come by.

1. I will give you a KIDNEY for 2 OBAMA Tickets for tonights speech!
Date: 2008-08-28, 11:35AM MDT
Are you in need of an extra kidney? Know of someone who needs one? I have 2 good kidneys which is a little excessive. Ill give you one of them for two tickets to tonight’s speech. I live in Denver and tried to get tickets the minute they were announced. Somehow the first come first serve registration did not work since I was put on the waitlist.
So, I need two tickets for me and my girlfriend. I have an extra kidney. You take said organ, I take 2 tickets for this historic speech.

Craigslist Scolding re: Obama Ticket Tactics

Biche found this on Craigslist:

Obama tickets = Yes we can ... profit from this - $1 (Your conscience)
Reply to: sale-900567983@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-31, 10:44AM CDT


I could not possibly be more disgusted with my fellow human beings and Chicagoans than I am right now.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

In good faith, you were given the opportunity to come together in (hopefully) celebration of a new era of hope in America, and the first thought to cross your polluted mind was "How can I convert this good will into cash/ass/drugs?"

YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

Yes, yes ... I know. "Capitalism!" you'll say. "Supply and Demand!" you'll stammer. The truth is, these are the same weak arguments and excuses that have lead our nation to the verge of collapse.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING.

True change will require each of us to take responsibility, to stop making the same mistakes, and to selflessly commit ourselves to working towards a better America. Senator Obama is only one man, and he would be the first to tell you that he cannot fix our nation on his own.

Real change will require each of us to choose a departure from the greed and selfishness of the past. These ticket sales, misguided profiteers, are an awful beginning.

YOU SHOULD REMOVE YOUR POSTINGS AND GIVE YOUR GUEST TICKETS AWAY.

Judging Alvy?

Here is a list of the Illinois Bar Association's recommendations on which judges should/shouldn't be retained. Why not print it out and bring it with you into the voting booth?

Uke Cabaret poster designer and man about town Chris P's band Mean Ohio will become the 60's Garage Rock kings The Sonics at the Halloween show on Friday. The Sonics' tunes make an excellent Halloween Soundtrack- Rough and ready, hard and fast, with fuzzed out guitars and horns. The subject matter is appropriately macabre with songs about drinking strychnine for kicks, witches, psychopaths, and Satan. This track, Strychnine, is from their 1965 debut album Here are The Sonics .


Strychnine

The Goldhead Pyramid-Top Queen Biopic

Steven Soderbergh taps Guided By Voices to score 3D Cleopatra musical...

Variety:

For his next directing effort, Steven Soderbergh is plotting a 3-D live-action rock ‘n’ roll musical about Cleopatra.

He is courting Catherine Zeta-Jones to play the Egyptian queen and Hugh Jackman to play her lover, Marc Antony.

The $30 million “Cleo” will be shopped for financing and distribution within the next two weeks. Greg Jacobs is producing with Casey Silver.

The music has been written by the indie rock band Guided by Voices, and the script is by James Greer, a former bass player for the band and an author.

First Lady?

Cindy McCain Claims She's Just Like Any Other Female Human

Unbelievable

A new low. It gets AMAZING around 2:40.