Friday, May 30, 2008

Bike Clinic this weekend?

If you have a bicycle that doesn't seem to be working right ... bring it by my house and i'll attempt to fix, or at the very least, diagnose the problem.

But which day works for people: Tomorrow or Sunday? Let me know in the comments ...

a little tidbit from my world

Have You NEVER Been Mellow?

as always please feel free to make suggestions. this one if full of lame easy listening goodness.

Happy Friday homies!

PS - now with more Croce!

Let's get physical (at the Shell station)!

So, I was on Bally's website today and came across this little tip.

Today's Tidbit:
Got 2 minutes? The gas station is a mover's paradise. The pumps run by themselves so there's no reason to just stand there, watching the price go up. It takes two minutes to fill up a 13-gallon tank. Here's a little routine you can do during that time. Walk three laps around your car. Next, stand next to your car, lift and lower on your toes 20 times. Then, Lunge in place, 20 times. Finish by walking three more laps around your car.

A mover's paradise, eh? Uh, yeah. On top of taking out a loan just to drive across town, I'm going to do this little "routine", look like a schizo and probably then get mugged as a result?! I think I'll just go for a walk, thank you very much.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Most Hilarious Response to My Last Name Ever

Nice Person: How do you pronounce your last name?
Me: YOU - sah
Nice Person: (quizzically)Hmm, what is..what origin is that?
Me: (smiling) My dad is Japanese.
Nice Person: Oh, really? Well good for you!

Now Things are Just Swelt

Natascha Swelt spent 8 1/2 years in a dungeon and escaped 2 years ago. Now she has a talk show. I'm not kidding.

Natscha's Web site

Article on Salon

Love That "Chicken" From Popeye's!

No fowl play: Customer reports 'deep fried rat' in carryout chicken

May 29, 2008
Recommend (13)


A patron of a popular fried chicken restaurant called police after finding what they thought was a rodent in their order late Wednesday on the South Side, police said.

About 11:45 p.m., a customer from the Popeye's Famous Fried Chicken and Biscuits in the 5400 block of South Wentworth Avenue called police to report finding something that resembled a rodent or "deep fried rat" in the food, according to Wentworth Area detectives.

"They took it home and realized it wasn't chicken and that it resembled more of a rodent than fowl," said Wentworth Area detectives.

The customer did not ingest the item and no one was sick or injured, police said.

Foul play or product tampering is not suspected and the incident is being investigated as non-criminal, police said. The public health department will be notified.

"I don't think it was a criminal offense," Wentworth Area detectives said.

No one answered the phone at the restaurant early Thursday.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

New Title Suggestion

How about:

Indiana Jones and the Total Piece of Shit

I give Spielberg 3 2/3 good movies in the last 20 years:

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
Saving Private Ryan
Catch Me If You Can
and 2/3 of A.I. (the beginning and the end - you know, the part he didn't write.)

Over that same span, he's also done:

War of the Worlds
The Terminal
Minority Report
TWO Jurassic Park Movies
And the middle third of A.I., which destroys an otherwise amazing film.

Didn't see Amistad. Schindler's list is fair. Going back further, he had one good run. Between 1975-1981, he made Jaws, Close Encounters, 1941, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and E.T. Only TWENTY-SEVEN short years ago!

He is the Rich Melman of cinema.

Guess English Food Is That Bad

Attention Shall Be Paid.....

Oh it Hurts

People, I've got to speak about something. Have any of you watched Recount?
The performance that John Hurt gives as Warren Christopher is, bar none, the worst I've seen in years. Its downright embarrassing to watch. There. Just had to get that off my chest.

More High Art


Cradle Rock Style

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A Brief and Arbitrary Collection of Wedding Photos

Check the set.

Pivotal Moment In Human History Alert

This weekend, human beings successfully landed a craft on the North Pole of Mars, 35 million miles away. The Phoenix Mars Lander will use its robotic arm to dig about a foot beneath the surface to look for liquid or frozen water, essential to all know life. We may be hours away from finding the first life on another planet.

The picture above was taken by another orbiting satellite and shows the lander parachuting to the planet's surface. The first pictures that the lander has relayed are available here.

In 1968, the world STOPPED to watch the Apollo missions. Now they won't even interrupt "Two and A Half Men". Don't you think it's a PR issue? If the networks treated it like the enormous story it is, wouldn't everyone get excited about it? Why does there have to be a person on board - which would make the expedition EXPONENTIALLY more expensive and only marginally more efficient - for the average person to care?

Furthermore, why does it annoy me so much?

David Bowie - "Life On Mars"

Friday, May 23, 2008

Zach & Showalter Talk Music

Happy Long Weekend!

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I just bought a license to be in a bar. Up to 8 can join me. First come, first served.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Tech Support

Tim Russert FART? vs. Off screen agreement noise?

YOU decide.

My links aren't working so you'll have to cut and paste. I swear it's my work computer not a rookie mistake! Don't kick me out, PLEASE! Posting fart videos is all I have left.

Greatest Living American

Tom Waits interviews himself here.


Q: What is a gentleman?
A: A man who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Q: Favorite Bucky Fuller quote?
A: "Fire is the sun unwinding itself from the wood".

Q: What do you wonder about?
1. Do bullets know whom they are intended for?
2. Is there a plug in the bottom of the ocean?
3. What do jockeys say to their horses?
4. How does a newspaper feel about winding up papier-mache?
5. How does it feel to be a tree by a freeway?
6. Sometimes a violin sounds like a Siamese cat; the first violin strings were made from cat gut- any connection?
7. When is the world going to rear up and scrape us off its back?
8. Will we humans eventually intermarry with robots?
9. Is a diamond just a piece of coal with patience?
10. Did Ella Fitzgerald really break that wine glass with her voice?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

No, it's not Vampire Weekend

It's fucking ADAM ANT!

This song is awesome and hilarious.
Young Parisians - Adam And the Ants

Never before seen Kiss performance!

Check it...guaranteed to please.

DIY Goes Too Far

OK, two things. First of all, once is incredible, twice makes you a showoff.

Secondly, how did the photo come about? "Ok Steve, point the knife at your throat. No, a little higher. Can we get him a bigger knife? Can we put some blood or something on it?"

Omaha Man Breathes Easy After Taking a Knife to His Throat
Second Self-Tracheotomy a Success
ABC Medical Unit

May 20, 2008 —

"Was I scared? Heck yeah! I didn't want to cut myself."

Steve Wilder, 55, may not have wanted to take a knife to his own throat, but his do-it-yourself tracheotomy probably saved his life.

Wilder, a truck driver from Omaha, Neb., was asleep in his basement two weeks ago and awoke when he found himself unable to breathe. Afraid that the rescue squad would not get to his home in time, Wilder ran into his kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and made a slit through his throat so that his windpipe could get air, unobstructed.

This was the second time Wilder had taken matters into his own hands. Wilder performed a self-tracheotomy in 2006 under similar circumstances, when he felt he could not breathe.

"I did what I did the first time. I took a knife and opened it up," Wilder said, in his high-pitched, broken voice. "I did it to save my life."

A Breath of Air

The problem began after Wilder had throat cancer and underwent radiation therapy four years ago.

"Radiation actually cooked his muscles," said Cora Wilder, his wife. "If you feel his neck and my neck, his neck is hard and my neck is soft."

Paul Sherrerd, Wilder's doctor, said that he had more inflammation from the radiation treatments than was normal and that it had not gone away completely. He suspects that Wilder's inability to breathe sometimes may be due to seasonal allergies.

Wilder said that both times his throat has swollen to the point where he felt he could not breathe have been in the spring.

"Something has to set off the swelling," said Sherrerd, an ear, nose and throat doctor at Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha. "It could be allergy, which I think is probably what happens with him."

But Wilder and his wife are not convinced his problem is related to an allergy. Aside from some occasional difficulty breathing, Wilder does not experience other symptoms that are typical to an allergic reaction, such as itchy, watery eyes or a runny nose.

Cora Wilder said her husband never had a history of allergies or illness.

"All this happened since the cancer," she said. "He never was sick before."

A Cut Above

But Wilder's medical history puts him at risk for serious breathing problems. Because of the radiation treatments, his vocal cords have narrowed in his throat above his trachea to about a five-millimeter gap, according to Sherrerd. By comparison, a healthy person has about one centimeter of breathing room. For Wilder, even a mild allergic reaction or a small amount of swelling could spell disaster.

"It doesn't take very much to get [Wilder] into trouble in a hurry," Sherrerd said.

A tracheotomy can be a delicate procedure. A slit is made at the base of the throat; the thyroid gland, which sits in front of the trachea, is cut; and the trachea is slit and a breathing tube is inserted so that air can reach the lungs. The carotid artery is also in the vicinity and even a nick could release a lot of blood.

But Wilder may have had an easier time with a self-tracheotomy than the average person. His thyroid was already out of the way from previous tracheotomies, and because of the radiation treatments, there was nothing but skin and some subcutaneous tissue to cut through to get to the trachea. He also had a scar from previous tracheotomies as a guide.

"I knew where the [trachea] was and I knew that's where I could breathe," Wilder said.

Wilder recovered quickly from his self-administered operation, and is back at work.

Sherrerd has placed a permanent tube in Wilder's throat to help him breathe when he needs it, but said that Wilder only needs to be monitored occasionally and that he is doing well.

"As crazy as it sounds, it probably wasn't the craziest thing to do," Sherrerd said.

Lunchtime Video

Cake or Death?!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Antidote to Previous War Post

I can't embed the video here, but if you click here you won't be sorry.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Ugliest Dog in the World Contest

Rock the vote:

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Warning: Incredibly Depressing

You might want to skip the last 30 seconds or so.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Separated at birth...rejoining in death?

No, Hef's not corporeally dead yet. And I know, he and Mondavi (actually dead) are both just wrinkly old white pseudo-iconoclasts, and that's what money and sun and money and egotism and money will do to such guys. But what the hey.

And would it be too much to root for Bill Maher to make an early exit and fill out my waxy, squinty-eyed trio of those who LONG-outlived any real worth? Do me a solid, and let's hear some disdain, people.

(Fuck you, too, Maher.)

(end rant)

Guilty Pleasure Dance Time

It's crazy farm/field dance time!

Last one. I swear. NSFW Lyrics homies.

One more for all you lovers out there.


HI! Crescent is in the house. Long time reader first time poster. As a thank you for being included in the funtimes I give you some Friday super jams.

Take my Piano........ Please! (it's free)

Hey Lake Effectors,

I am moving my parents out of their house this week and they don't have room for the piano at the new place. It sounds great and is pretty much in tune. The hammer for the G in the top register needs repair, but I think it is a very easy fix. Also, a few of the keys are chipped at the edges a bit from when I decided it would be cool to use my drumsticks on them when I was a kid. If you pick it up by next Wednesday, I will throw in the cool lamp which belonged to my Nana, Vera Bick.

If anyone is interested, let me know by this Sunday.



Thursday, May 15, 2008

Interestingly, it was all accrued at the buffet

Prosecutor: Barkley faces felony if he doesn't pay back $400K

LAS VEGAS -- Retired NBA star Charles Barkley will face criminal charges if he doesn't repay a $400,000 gambling debt to a Las Vegas casino, a prosecutor said Thursday.

"We're in the process of sending Mr. Barkley notice that we're considering filing a criminal complaint," Clark County District Attorney David Roger said. "He'll have an opportunity like anybody else to make restitution to the hotel."

The story was first reported by the Las Vegas Sun on its Web site.

The posh Wynn Las Vegas casino alleges in a civil complaint filed Wednesday in Nevada state court that Barkley failed to repay four $100,000 casino markers, or loans, he received last Oct. 18 and 19.

"To date, and despite repeated demands, Barkley has refused to repay the $400,000," the complaint said.

Barkley is a basketball analyst for Turner Network Television who has made no secret of his gambling over the years.

His agent in New York did not immediately respond to messages seeking comment, and a TNT spokeswoman in Atlanta declined comment.

Wynn Las Vegas spokeswoman Dorothy Land also declined comment, citing ongoing litigation.

Barkley, 45, played 16 seasons for the Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns and Houston Rockets. He was named MVP in 1993 and was an 11-time NBA All-Star. Barkley also played on the USA Olympic "Dream Team" in 1992 and 1996.

Barkley estimated during a May 2006 interview with ESPN that he'd gambled away about $10 million over the years.

"Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem," Barkley said. "But I don't consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble."

He said he never bet on basketball, and only bet in casinos. He called it a bad habit that he intended to continue.

Fight that Foo

The Foo Fighters, apart from being a relentlessly mediocre schlock-rock parody of themselves, apparently have a sense of humor. Check out this excerpt from their rider, which made its way to The Smoking Gun.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Uke Roundup

Clocking in at just under 4 hours, Uke Aquatica featured 17 acts with dramatic peaks and long gentle valleys. Those who stuck around got a real gem of a set from The Duke of Uke and his Novelty Orchestra, tuba and all. Thanks to Quickdraw for the photos.

Welsh Rarebit

David & Eva


The Hitmaker

Bianchi Brothers

the long awaited Fiberglass Kneecaps reunion

The Duke of Uke

Modern Art

This ceramic dollar-store find is known simply as "Hamburger Baby". Its broken arm has been secured with a green rubber band, which I'd say is the coup de grace.

Friday, May 9, 2008

The Duke Of Uke

is coming up from Urbana with a full band to play tomorrow night as a featured performer.

Check out his Myspace page-its pretty great
The Duke of Uke

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Le Harv and Ned

Also in his celebrity mix, Ned the dog.

While We're At It

I'm adding the King from Medieval Times to Harveys CM

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


I'm officially adding Iron Man to Tim Riff's celebrity mix, and the Jeff Bridges character to Harvey Adelstein's.

Queer Aid

Geez! They've had a gum (or band aid?) for that this whole time?

Style Maven

For the discerning gentleman or lady.