Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
It's not a nipple tingler, but this article is very thoughtful, concise, and terrifying.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
They combine the intellectual curiosity of the Bush Administration with the poise of the Bears' 4th quarter defense. Even their supporters are going to ask why McCain can't be at the debate Friday night...
Obama remains up in the polls in Colorado, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota.
Can the Democrats find a way to fuck this up? We should have a contingency plan in place.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
No sh*t! In case you're not totally convinced, here's the article:
Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Update: look who posted it.
Adviser says McCain helped create the BlackBerry
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESSPublished: September 16, 2008
Filed at 10:38 a.m. ET
MIAMI (AP) -- Move over, Al Gore. You may lay claim to the Internet, but John McCain helped create the BlackBerry.
At least that's the contention of a top McCain policy adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin. Waving his BlackBerry personal digital assistant and citing McCain's work as a senator, he told reporters Tuesday, ''You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.''
McCain has acknowledged that he doesn't know how to use a computer and can't send e-mail, one of the BlackBerry's prime functions."
... Holtz-Eakin, former director of the Congressional Budget Office, said McCain's service on and leadership of the Senate Commerce Committee put him at the intersection of a number of economic interests, including the telecommunications industry.
Monday, September 15, 2008
House of Palin
The season finale of Fox's smash hit "House Of Palin" garnered a record 58 million viewers Thursday evening, becoming the most watched television show in American history. The wildly successful reality program, which chronicles the foibles and follies of Vice President Sara Palin and her whacky family, became an instant sensation when it debuted shortly after Mrs. Palin took office last year.
Last night's episode resolved several cliffhangers and closed with surprise appearances by President McCain and Lindsay Lohan. An overnight New York Times-CBS poll found that 77 percent of viewers were pleased that Bristol Palin quit her job as an Applebee’s waitress and decided to finally pursue her dream of becoming a Formula One racecar driver. Warrior, her rambunctious two-year old son, will make the move to North Carolina with his mother. But his father Levi will continue to live in the Naval Observatory basement. Bristol and her husband have not been on speaking terms since he was caught selling the Vice-President’s undergarments on Ebay.
The poll also found that Track Palin’s approval rating plummeted from 70 to 6 percent overnight. Viewers were outraged that the brooding Iraq War veteran, in a fit of rage, killed a neighbor’s barking dog with a surface to air missile, producing a dangerous, half-acre blaze that took the fire department over 24 hours to extinguish. Police officers arrived at the Naval Observatory to arrest Mr. Palin, but President McCain, citing the Country First Act, immediately exonerated Track and ordered DC police to leave the premises. As the police were leaving, Mr. Palin stood bare-chested in the driveway, raised a middle finger and shouted, “suck this” while clutching his genitals.
Willow Palin embarked on a solo-hunting trip in Alaska, where the 14-year-old continued to impress viewers with her grit and resourcefulness. In a dramatic, tense moment, Ms. Palin climbed an snowy embankment and came face to face with a 700 pound buffalo. When the beast approached, Ms. Palin let out a high-pitched warrior shriek and charged the buffalo, driving a knife made of stone deep into its chest. She then devoured the animal raw, reducing it to bones in less than five minutes.
Vice President Sara Palin has moved her approval rating amongst women from an already stratospheric 88 percent to an unprecedented 100 percent with her decision to file for divorce from her husband Todd. The Sara-Todd saga has captivated and divided viewers ever since Mr. Palin announced his plans to undergo a sex change operation and change his name to Destiny.
After the shocking news, the Vice President fell into a deep depression and spent nearly every day in bed, watching Passion of the Christ, eating moose paws and receiving pedicures from a rotation of secret service agents. In the months leading up to the operation, Destiny started wearing Jordache jeans, purple glitter and sassy half-shirts. He enrolled in beauty school part-time, but continued to discharge his duties as Second Gentleman. The Vice President felt conflicted over the decision to leave Destiny, struggling between her religion’s opposition to both divorce and sex change operations. But public opinion turned sharply against Destiny when he/she started openly dating the troubled actress Lindsay Lohan.
President McCain made a dramatic appearance last night when he and Vice President Palin boarded Air Force One and flew to Los Angeles, where they confronted Destiny and Ms. Lohan at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip. With the rapper Snoop Dogg performing onstage and Ms. Palin trailing behind, the President strode purposefully through the crowd and into the VIP section, where Destiny and Ms. Lohan were ensconced in private booth, tongue kissing behind a wall of champagne. The President stormed up to Destiny and knocked all the champagne bottles from the table, while Ms. Palin stood behind him with her arms crossed. Then the President reached into his breast pocket and retrieved a thick packet of divorce papers. Snoop Dogg stopped rapping and the whole crowd turned and looked on in stunned silence. Once President McCain had everyone’s full attention, he slammed the divorce papers down on the table and said, “You’ve been served!” Vice President Palin kissed her index finger, touched her backside and made a “sizzling” sound. The crowd roared, cheering and shouting insults at Destiny and Ms. Lohan.
The ground-breaking finale closed with Snoop Dogg, President McCain and Vice President Palin performing several rap songs from Mr. Dogg’s platinum-selling album “Doggystyle.”
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Furthermore, I'm dead.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The audience at the Toronto Film Festival press screening of "Slumdog Millionaire" didn't know they were also going to get live entertainment Saturday.
There'd been lots of Oscar buzz about Danny ("Trainspotting") Boyle's flick, about a poor Mumbai guy who wins a girl and becomes a national hero by going on a game show. So the screening room was packed.
Soon after the lights went down, a source tells us, "a man in the audience started yelling, 'Don't touch me!' People looked around and shrugged. Ten minutes later, the voice yells again, 'I said don't touch me!'"
Again, people shrugged off the disturbance. But a few minutes later, says our source, "the guy stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around."
The thwacker? New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick.
The thwackee? Esteemed Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert.
After battling thyroid and salivary gland cancer for years, Ebert, 66, can no longer speak.
"Apparently, Roger was just trying to tap Lumenick on the shoulder to signal him that he couldn't see the movie," surmises our source. "He was trying to ask him to move over a bit."
Though Lumenick seemed surprised to see whom he had struck, he offered no apology, according to another source.
Lumenick didn't return a call and e-mail by deadline. Ebert's agent declined to comment.
Lumenick's lashing didn't prevent Ebert from enjoying the film. The critic walked out of the screening with two thumbs up — and handed Boyle a note saying he's bound to get an Oscar nod.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Large Hadron Collider opens at CERN tomorrow. This enormous particle accelerator will be looking for the elusive Higgs-boson particle, which from what I understand (not much) is the key to proving the existence of dark matter and explaining a lot of what we only sorta know about the universe.
And they got crazy fresh rhymes, yo!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
My Dear Friends,
As many of you know, based on our candid discussions (and, at times, heated debates) over the course of the past several months, my first choice for President fell short in her historic quest for the Democratic nomination.
It was a contentious primary campaign.
As a result, I-- like millions of other voters-- needed to take time to ensure that my eventual choice for President fully represented my views on the important issues of the day. Although it was inconceivable that I would ever consider voting for anyone other than the Democratic nominee, I nonetheless felt an obligation to learn everything I could about the candidates who would appear on the ballot in November.
For the first time in my adult life, I found myself seriously weighing the nominees and comparing their positions on the key issues that face America during this time of war, environmental peril and economic hardship.
As of today, I am pleased to share with you my choice for President.
I believe that his words, rather than anything I could say, speak volumes about the kind of Change that he will bring to America. I trust, after viewing these clips and hearing his inspiring call to action, that you will share my enthusiasm....
PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."
MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- The Muppets could come back to primetime
television with their own reality show.
After plunking down a whopping $90 million last year for rights to Kermit and cohorts, Disney is hoping to relaunch the Muppets on a prime-time ABC series parodying such unscripted hits as American Idol and America's Next Top Model.
ABC has ordered a script andfive episode outlines for "America's Next Muppet," in which viewers may join inchoosing the newest member of the puppet family that includes Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, a network spokeswoman said Tuesday.