Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thursday Feature!

Abe Vigoda?
Fisher Stevens?
John Salmons?*
Steve Trout?*
Greg Norman's retarded half brother?*
Brandon Bass?*
Catfish Hunter?*
Dennis Herring?
Gar Forman?*
Jackson Pollock?

*Simo: These are sports guys

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thursday Feature!

A white VW bug with a soft top in a Chicago winter? Yeah, "envy".

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Blood Sport

I'm just going to link to the Deadspin article about this, which totally floored me. The novelist Sergio De La Pava wrote an incredible essay about fighting in general and two rounds in particular that sum up everything great about boxing. One is the legendary 9th round of Gatti-Ward 1 (That's the guy from The Fighter, which I haven't seen but hear is decent), and the other is the 10th of Corrales v. Castillo from 2005, embedded above. It's pretty much the best 3 minutes of boxing you'll ever see.

The writing, though, is really a marvel. Please please please read the excerpts on Deadspin and the whole thing if you're so inclined. Spectacular.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Me at Jack White Mobile Record Store: "A bear claw and a smoothie, please." Jack: "We don't have that." Me: "Okay, just coffee." #DagSXSW

Just punched the lead singer of Jet in the jaw. Does that count as 'SXSW Interactive'? #DagSXSW

OMG you guys, Austin food is AMAZING. Having some incredible Tex-Mex chimp kabobs at Buenas Nachos on 6th and Pecos. DM me! #DagSXSW

Had a nice conversation with the owner of LadyPlace, a shop that sells cool, exotic beads for women's leg hair. SO Austin!! #DagSXSW

The David Foster keynote address is DRAGGING. Another Celine story? Tell me about the Cetera/Chicago split, already. #DagSXSW

Thursday Feature!

I was going to come up with a good caption, but I was too wazy.

More Gold

What Your Favorite Rock Band Says About You, Part II

The Byrds: There is a thin layer of sand on the bottom shelf of your fridge.

The Band: You have misspelled your name while carving it into a picnic table.

.38 Special: You have a tattoo of an animal driving a vehicle.

Procol Harum: You have smoked hash through an antique rifle.

Heart: You have smoked chamomile tea through a hookah.

Joni Mitchell: You have accidentally eaten more than half of a scented candle.

Steve Miller Band: You have not yet figured out how to turn off the hourly beep on your digital watch.

Working backward, the entries for The Zombies and Jackson Browne are personally apropos. Not too shabby!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

SXSW Done Right

Chicago musician Dag Juhlin is Tweeting from Chicago and pretending to be at the industry clustercuss know as SXSW. Enjoy:

HELP! Need a ride to the Juggalo picnic. Hotel shuttle won't take me there. Anyone? DM me! Thanks! #DagSXSW

If McGrath blows as much as a single lyric at tonight's Sugar Ray reunion gig, this town is going to go APESHIT! #DagSXSW

Just got a sneak preview of the new Strokes tune, "We Have Given Up Looking For New Ways To Pound This Shit Out". Fun song! #DagSXSW

AWESOME! Just scored a ticket to the Jeremy Piven/AXE body Spray Pre-Party Vodka Brunch, with a plus one! DM me! #DagSXSW

Great showcase gig: Noblesse Obese, Ich Bin Ein Airliner, Accident Pants, Kill Me Before I Love Again, and The Fancy Twats. #DagSXSW

Quick, we need bassist for new band, Rachel Ray Vaughan. We do blues songs about easy to prepare meals. Gig 2nite! DM me! #DagSXSW

Then & Now

A project by Irina Werning. Trippy.


As I'm sure you've heard by now, Nate Dogg passed away last night. He was 41.

Nate was the smooth voice behind some of the great West Coast R&B/Rap hybrids of the 90s, but he is perhaps most notable for being the subject of this (now expurgated) Wikipedia entry on his hit, "Regulate":

"On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in the east side of Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a Rolex Watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself making a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges (sixteen residing in the pistol‘s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) to expend on the group of robbers. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges. Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by daring anyone to approach the style. There follows a brief discussion of the genre’s musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. Nate goes on to note that if any third-party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication almost daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their antagonists with small arms fire)."

Monday, March 14, 2011

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Bad Pants: Emergency Update

If you see these pants in person, do not attempt to apprehend. Call your local law enforcement immediately. These pants are EXTREMELY dangerous and might make you vomit on sight. You might also encounter them in black Spandex.

Please note the name and the price.

New Feature: Bad Pants

This new feature will celebrate the most unwearable legwear available to any asshole or rather "fash-hole" willing. These particular pants highlight the latest bad idea the fashion industry has defecated on runways and shops near you - the Harem pant. Enjoy.

Friday, March 11, 2011


So, Felicia Pearson, who played nailgun-toting assassin Snoop on The Wire got arrested yesterday. David Simon wrote a really interesting piece about it.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thursday Feature!

Go Shawty! Issyer birthday!

Earliest known use of "Shorty":

Why don't bands rock matching overalls anymore?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Why We Will Eventually Move Down The Food Chain

The Japanese may be good at inventing stuff, but their corporate video background music is the worst.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Listen Here

On Friday night, I was lucky enough to have my face melted off by The Love Language.

TLL are a group of young people from Raleigh, NC. The mastermind of the operation is one Stuart McLamb, who can be seen riding a bicycle in the photo above. The songs on their two wonderful albums are brilliant in their shambolic formalism, with debts to Phil Spector and Bob Pollard in equal amounts. This guy is seriously a MONSTER.

While the band is one person's vision, its live iteration is something to behold - terrific singing and playing, incredibly deft arrangements, and actual fun without a whit of self-importance.

Anyone unfortunate enough to spend significant time around me has doubtless been forced to listen to my endless pontificating about their amazingness, but now I encourage you to listen for yourself.

Go to a show. Buy the records.

The Love Language: "This Blood Is Our Own" and "Brittany's Back"

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Che Coglione!

A French mobster?

Thursday Feature!

It's a weird enough plate as it is, but on a Japanese car it's hard to fathom.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.

I've never seen anything like this. And unless you're Matt Powers, you haven't either.

The jump at 1:12 almost made me barf.

Apparently it's from some bike race in Chile. Between this guy and the miners, they seem to have bravery on LOCK.

We've Got Spirit - How 'Bout You?

The girl on the right straight loses her mind.


The terrific Said The Gramophone year-end list is up
. Listen, download, learn, etc.