Thursday, December 18, 2008

Village Voice Worst Lyrics 2008 Competition

No RHCP Album Leaves The Title Wide Open......

ODB Bracket

1. The Killers “Human”
Lyrical line: Are we human / or are we dancer?

2. Weezer “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”
Lyrical line: You try to play it cool like you just don’t care / But soon I’ll be playin’ in your underwear.

3. Nickelback “Something In Your Mouth”
Lyrical line: You look so much cuter with something in your mouth.

4. Lady GaGa “Boys Boys Boys”
Lyrical line: Love it when you call me ‘Legs’ / In the morning buy me eggs.

5. The Streets “Alleged Legends”
Lyrical line: Do what you think’s right and you will feel all right / ‘Cause when you’re bad you will feel sad / That’s the religion I live by.

6. Usher “Trading Places”
Lyrical line: Skip dinner and gon’ rent a movie / You order Chinese food right before you do me.

7. Nas “My President Is Black”
Lyrical line: She ain’t a politician / Honey’s a pole-i-tician.

8. T-Pain “Therapy”
Lyrical line: I don’t need your sex / I’ll masturbate.

Bono Bracket

1. Lil Wayne “Dr. Carter”
Lyrical line: Swagger tighter than a yeast infection / Fly go hard like geese erection.

2. Metallica “Broken, Beat & Scarred”
Lyrical line: What don’t kill you make you more strong.

3. Kate Nash “Mariella”
Lyrical line: If I want to think / I’ll think with my head.

4. Katy Perry “Hot N Cold”
Lyrical line: You change your mind like a girl changes clothes / You PMS like a bitch / I would know.

5. Ne-Yo “So You Can Cry”
Lyrical line: I won’t attend your pity party / I’d rather go have calamari.

6. Lucinda Williams “Honey Bee”
Lyrical line: I’m so glad you stung me / Now I’ve got your honey / All over my tummy.

7. The Game “My Life”
Lyrical line: Hated on so much / Passion of Christ need a sequel.

8. Pharrell on Common’s “Announcement”
Lyrical line: My dick is like a Blow Pop, baby.


Tony B. said...

Wasn't Lucinda Williams someone, er, "we" were supposed to respect?

Good god these are bad. Luckily I can't imagine any in an actual song...

Simo said...

We got get Kanye in there too. Did anyone catch his SNL performance? It was embarrassing. My 10 yr olds write better rhymes. Also, he uses the vocoder as a crutch throughout most of the album to hid the fact that he cannot sing. Yikes!

Alvy said...

The Ne-Yo line is one of the all-timers.

quickdraw said...

I'd have to say the T-Pain lyric is the worst of the aforementioned. At least Ne-Yo (barely) tried to rhyme.

Shanghai Shecky said...

lucinda and her orgasms (hers and others' i guess) enough already.

agree with alvy...the pity party/calamari line beats 'em all.

wag said...

I played this one at Landmark tonight.

Lil Wayne “Dr. Carter”

Swagger tighter than a yeast infection / Fly go hard like geese erection.

The Hitmaker said...

I love the line from "Human," but most of the rest of this stuff is whack. What is going on with that Metallica line? Is that from a song from "Quest for Fire"?
@Simo, the world may finally be catching up with me. Kanye has put together some nice-sounding tracks, for sure, but as a rapper/"singer" he sux; dude has only one meter/rhyme scheme, and it's bush-league. Check out his work on Estelle's "American Boy'; in his defense, maybe they only gave him 15 minutes to write his part.