From McSweeney's. The whole list is killer, but here's a taste:
The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.
The Who: You own a Goldwing with a baby-changing station.
Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats.
Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats.
Aerosmith: You know a store that still sells puffy Reeboks.
Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Jeep.
Sammy Hagar: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Subaru Brat.
Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.
Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.
Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies.