I read 'em so you don't have to:
I hope Oprah spends a nice quiet night in with her closest friends - just scissoring Gayle softly while Steadman plays with his train set.
@BretEastonEllis Bret Easton Ellis
Kirsten Dunst looked a lot sadder when I ran out of coke at an Oscar party 5 years ago than at the Von Trier press conference at Cannes...
I nicknamed my stepdaughter "The Village" because she's such a huge disappointment.
If you want to see the real New York the way it was in the bad old days. check out a film called You've Got Mail.
@robdelaney rob delaney
Dammit, I just shit my pants. It's OK though; I'm at Kinko's.
Kim Kardashian wants her bachelorette party to be low key, just an E! camera crew and 100 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
I missed Oprah's last show but to celebrate I bought my neighbor a car and gained 40 pounds.
@Chri55yBaby (Chris Owens from Girls)
"You have to be taught" is the most important song in South Pacific. Btw I hate assholes (the personality type not the body part)
autotuning monkey and wolfs cause i just dont give a FUCK right now
Why do I watch Treme? It's like reading an issue of an alternative weekly newspaper. The same issue. Every week.
I cant help myself. Every time I see an Army Surplus store I have to go inside and say, "I need a tent that sleeps 6 morbidly obese adults."