Tweets Of The Week

3rdand10 Will Kane
I'll take George Harrison, Ghostbusters, and Vicodin. You guys can have the rest.

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
How many times during the filming of Fast 5 do you think the Rock, Diesel, Walker & Tyrese woke up in bed together, naked, covered in jizz?

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
I wonder if the sound guy on the Sopranos wakes up in the night screaming after having nightmares about James Gandolfini's nose breathing.

pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt
Have the Vancouver riot police turned on the maple syrup cannons yet?

NekoCase Neko Case
Sorry, @deltaairlines, why are you such a dick?

MarylandMudflap
If you need me I'll be at the farmer's market with all the other white people who think eating organic food will make us live forever.

mortsahlsays Mort Sahl
Obama urged Weiner to resign, which is yet another example of the sinking ship deserting the rats.

CoachieX B.A. Rosenblum
wxrt just played a song by Marvin Gaye as part of their Father's Day set. Seriously. What are they, me?

morgan_murphy Morgan Murphy
When I was a kid, I had one of those nets you throw a baseball against and it bounces it back to you. Happy Fathers Day to that net.

mirandanmf miranda brown
if you don't like billy squier, you're wrong.

(this one is actually sort of touching)
ochocinco Chad Ochocinco
Left hand is trembling uncontrollably as if I'm out of my element. Weird feeling but cool as hell to see dad after how many years? Hmmm 17

JennyJohnsonHi5
I'm sure Tiger Woods wishes he would've won the US Open today, then fingered a buttload of skanks with his penis.

Andy_Richter
Also, congrats to HBO on the launch of their first spin-off series, Tremè: Miami.

robdelaney rob delaney
I'm hoping the success of "Bad Teacher" & "Horrible Bosses" will convince Hollywood to make my movie, "Cunty Dermatologists."

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
Dumpster Muff RT @KimKardashian: Help me choose a new name for my jewelry line!