Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sucks Donkey Balls


Don't let anyone talk you into seeing this movie. It's so boring and long I made multiple grocery lists in my head while watching it. Yes, Heath Ledger is amazing. I woulda gladly paid ten bucks for the 20 minutes of footage he's in, but there's no excuse for the rest of it. Unless you really like cars or are bringing so many details from the comics to bear on this as to make it a) interesting and b) narratively coherent, skip it.

Maybe Christian Bale went to a screening of this just before he flew into his matricidal rage?

13 comments:

Crescent said...

I'm having major, what my huzbo and I call, Sideways-itis with this movie (Jason is a wine dude and EVERY person he ran into said "have you seen Sideways yet? You must LOVE Sideways!" so much so that he refused to see it for three years) I feel like if one more person tells me this movie will change my life and blow my mind (I typed "blow my mom" the first time) I might just kick Hollywood square in the nutsack.

Point being...it's refreshing to read a bad review of this movie. So thank you.

fanniepak said...

i just saw it last night, and i liked it. (and, yes, that had everything to do with heath ledger and all the bronzer on michael cain's face.)

sideways, on the other hand, i hated.

Tony B. said...

It don't think it sucked, but it helps to keep in mind it's a comic book and thus the kind of realistic character motivations you might look for in a movie (and i was really missing) don't exist cause it's a comic book with a Bush-Invades-Iraq budget.

So, at no point will you actually say: Yeah, i can totally see why he had to blow that up.

So, no, IT WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR LIFE. But otherwise it's pretty good for an action movie ... with lots of pretty shots of Chicago, too. If that's your thing.

Michal Cain was wearing bronzer?

Tony B. said...

Whoops - almost forgot - this movie will not Blow Your Mom, either.

Crescent said...

I knew it! Mom's going to be pissed.

Simo said...

I agree with EKM... If not for HL and the Chicago related site/set fun, I could have walked.

What happened to Maggie G!!?

Batman's voice rivals Daniel Day Lewis's Sean Connery impression in TWBB and Keanu Reeves "I'll try to talk an octave lower than my range will allow" in The Matrix as the most ridiculous of all time.

the developher said...

get off Daniel Day Lewis!!!

Gyllenhall sucks (either of them really)

This movie is deeply flawed, but I still enjoyed it. Ella, do you think your opinion about The Dark Motorcycle Ride have to do with your disdain for cartoons?

ekm said...

It's very possible this can all be traced back to my indefensible disinterest in animation. I may have to re-think that, though. At least feature cartoons have the merit of clocking in at about 90 minutes, right?

quickdraw said...

Movies aren't supposed to change your life, are they? Anyway, I was entertained by the film, but I agree that Bale's Batman voice was f'ing ridiculous and distracting. I'm with the Diva regarding Maggie...nothing special.

Alvy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alvy said...

I paraphrase Solucien when I say:

"10 Comments!"

Jimmy Swingset said...

Christian Bale's tongue thrusting is unreal. I also fell asleep twice and I was drinking a red bull and vodka IN the theater.

I give that movie a "Whaaaaaat?!" and a "Puuuhhhllleeaase!"

the developher said...

Vodka and Red Bull at the movies?! What are you 14?

The Heath Ledger performance lives up to the hype and is worth more than the sum of the movie.