Why I Teach

So, on the first day of my Contemporary Political Theory Class, I was going over the course syllabus with my students, explaining the assignments, grading, and so on. One of the class policies, as stated on the syllabus, is "No Laptops in the Classroom." I won't bore y'all with the many sound pedagogical reasons for this stance, but suffice it to say I became committed to it when a student in a previous class openly shopped for shoes on zappo.com while in my sight line.
Anyway, so I announce this rule, expecting some whining, but happily receive none. I continue on with my pronouncements (turn your #$%$* cell phone off, don't ask me for the notes from the class you missed because you were getting tattooed, etc).

About 5 minutes pass and one of the many blond haired/blue eyed students (it's Utah, people!) raises his hand and asks, with all possible earnestness, "Are we allowed to bring laptops into the classroom if they stay in our backpacks?"

I had to kindly explain to this well-meaning but deadly dense twentysomething that I do not, in fact, employ a security detail to examine the possessions of every student that enters the classroom. More importantly, I do not GIVE A FUCK if you show up with a christless MAINFRAME, I just don't want you reading Perez Hilton on it.