Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Ghost Post

This just in from Weinberg

VOICE-OVER: His foreskin petitioned to have itself reattached to him.

When bread touches his lips, it becomes unleavened.

On Yom Kippur, God asks HIM for atonement.

He became a man when he was Bar Mitzvahed. Right there! DURING his Bar Mitzvah.

A great miracle took place when he made a single drop of cologne last for eight days. THAT is how Hannukah began.

Out of respect, Jackie Mason dials it down a notch whenever he's around.

He can read Hebrew right to left...or left to right. Either way.

He once got Eilie Wiesel to laugh at a joke. About the War.

The ark is opened-- when he stands.

He once fiddled. On a roof.

He is...The Most Intersting Jew in the World.

(INTERIOR SHOT: HE is seated at a table in a delicatessan, perhaps on the upper West side. He is surrounded by an attractive and multi-ethnic group of well-dressed young people who are clearly in awe of him. They whisper amongst themselves-- from their hand gestures and respectful glances, it is obvious that he is the subject of their conversation-- while he looks up and speaks directly into camera:)

"I don't always drink beer. You know....all that barley and hops make me gassy. But, when I do, I don't mind having a little bit of 'Dos Sheckys.' It's not terrible. I mean, if you don't have any, that's fine, too (SIGH)...I can just have some grapefruit juice." (HEAVIER SIGH). Dos Sheckys-- imported by Manishevitz USA. "Stay guilty, my friend."

2 comments:

Jimmy Swingset said...

You're wasting your time in politics Weinberg. You should be writing for the Daily Show.

The Hitmaker said...

love it! Let's shoot it and put it on the YouTube machine.